Reviewing Ghanaian Films

The aim of a review or a critique is primarily to point out certain things that make a movie or not and by so doing, helping the creator of the movie improve.

Being a writer myself and a movie fan, I’ve sometimes felt like changing parts of movies and other times, wanted to give up writing because I can’t surpass some. Art is not about money and the failure to reach a certain height due to lack of funds shall not derogate from the art. In that, we cannot blame scarce financial resources as the sole reason for failure in displaying the potential of an art. We have a lot of stories and talented actors in Ghana; that is potential - maybe money and links can provide their success but are we even using this potential?

Growing up, I’ve seen too many films with ghosts and witches and fake so-called royalty systems. I used to be frightened when It was a ghost and reacted correspondingly to the other ‘creatures’ and themes. I’ve come to realize that my fear wasn’t because they were scary, it was just me and my generation and the things we found scary. Right now, it’s not ghosts that scare me; it’s the thought of some cheating husband getting caught by a lonely wife reading her husband’s txt messages or someone finding some exam results. The list is endless. Have I matured? Or have I done away with the belief or perception of existence of Ghosts? Or is it that the depiction of the ghost characters is not quite real (ironically)? Mind you, the kids today, don’t fear ghost, or AIDS or anything, they fear losing their phones etc. So how do we scare them without always using ghosts or teenage pregnancy etc through a movie?

So I’m browsing on facebook and in between chatting with friends and reading stuff on goal.com, I start watching a movie because none of the conversations are intense. Is that how low the option of watching a movie has fallen?

I’m talking to friends about my relationship problems and all they say is it’s the Ghanaian films they’ve been watching. Is she too immature to know it’s just fiction or really, I’m wrong and the movie is right?

Somebody give me a good Ghanaian film that will make me put my phone on silent, smash something on the floor and use swear words when my parents are around and most importantly, make me put it on my facebook status, tweet about it and call friends and say, chale you see this film...?

Lights, Camera, Action....

P.K, my neighbour, just popped in and we seem to agree on these. I asked for his point of view on Ghanaian films and he’s impressed with the eloquence of the actors (herein and hereafter referring to actresses too sometimes) and the depth in youth and reality of some scenes and acting. We have come to appreciate that not all things can be perfected, not even in movies. Some of the defects will be mentioned later on.

I’m not sure if there is a strict rule on the pattern to criticizing a movie (I prefer review because critique just generally sounds like saying the negatives).

Whenever I watch a movie, I seem to memorize a lot of things; I think it’s a craft that I have nurtured through arguments and the fact that I sometimes, almost on a weekly basis, have to recommend a movie for a friend. Although, my information on locally made and African movies is not as in depth as it is on foreign movies, I still try to appreciate the local ones in my own small possible way. These are the steps/guidelines I want to use as my style of appreciation.

Title

Storyline

How it unfolds

Music/sound/cameras

Cast

Acting

Ending

TITLE

As a writer, I’m a fan of the art side of a film and not the money aspect but the title has to have all to do with the film. If you’re into making money out of a work, at least go for a good title; I liked PERFECT PICTURE, I think there was a creative concept behind that last picture taken at the wedding and it was a sensible one and a superb work of art. A title is a name, a name identifies a subject and a movie is a subject so you don’t want a title that depicts something that has little or nothing to do with the movie even in a remote sense. This aforementioned ‘description’ of a title is invariably what the art is all about. To the money part- you want the movie to sell with just its name – its title. On the market, they don’t see you standing by the DVD’s and posters waiting to explain what your movie is about so you normally choose a name that sells. Settling on a title has little to do with this marketing notion when you think about it seriously. It’s the art side that really helps carve out a title. All the same, a title may push away some and pull some. You can’t pull them all.

THE SCRIPT

The script is a visual representation of a story using, and this is very important, primarily, dialogues. A good script can make everybody’s work easy. It tells the relationship between characters, their moods and traits amongst other. I can’t go on about the script and what it has to do in terms of the story line because that would be stating the obvious like - look it’s 12 noon and the sun is shining Ghana.

THE STORY LINE

The plot or story line forms the ‘reason’ of the movie. It is the excuse for the actors, director etc coming together.

More often than not, we see movies, locally especially, with story lines that we have become conversant with. A rich man’s daughter wanting to marry a poor guy with education, (so poor guy with no education is out of the equation?). As real as this may seem, I don’t want to pay for a DVD to see something I already know. Sure some people don’t know it exists. Maybe one person and it’s worth doing a movie for one fan because it might change her life and that might change the world but are we out of stories? Of course, I will still watch a movie even if I have an idea of the movie and the story line is so familiar but then are you being fair to me? You just want your money and you should feel smart because you just sold something I already have twice. It’s always the same plot. Can someone do something out of relationships?

To say I am equipped with the best storylines would be a big lie but sometimes I’m the best liar because I’m lying to my girlfriend or trying to convince someone to do me a favour. At that point, I’m better than some scriptwriters. I think all Ghanaian writers want to do something big and extraordinary. I feel in their endeavours to have a story that isn’t too flat, they put a lot into one film and worsen it with sequels that we are compelled to buy. It’s not fair to add unnecessary details to films and pause somewhere and tell me on the TV I bought to watch unlimited entertainment, “watch out for part II”. Let me be the judge of whether or not the film deserves a sequel. Let me say I can’t wait to see it. As much as films and scripts may be written or done in a planned manner so they have sequels and probably to cut down cost etc, it’s not artistic at all. I don’t have a certificate in drama or in acting but I know when some scenes are just a waste of time. I think THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE, SUNCITY, TAXI DRIVER, ULTIMATE PARADISE and now TINSEL are ages ahead of our films. Let’s leave the suspense to TV shows. I know some TV shows do well and better than movies in the states but the movies aren’t poorly and sluggishly lacking behind like we are allowing.

THE UNFOLDING OF THE PLOT

The unfolding of a plot is how the story plays out. This is no mat that we’re unfolding, or a coiled snake. It’s a story and how it unfolds depends, to me, more on the director than the writer. He may use flashbacks and other ‘techniques’ in his apparel or that from his ‘reputation’ to achieve these goals. I think movies like THE USUAL SUSPECTS, DEAR JOHN, SHUTTER ISLAND, and VANTAGE POINT just to mention a few, speak for themselves. The concept of unfolding a story is largely dependent on how the series of scenes are placed before or after each other. Regardless of whether or not they make sense during this unfolding, it is imperative that at the end of it all, the intended audience gets the message that the director is sending out.

Some people think if a story is predictable, than it is a bad thing. Sometimes, don’t you wish someone would die and the person dies and you’re happy and when he doesn’t, you say you wasted time watching it? So if I’m right, the average Ghanaian says the movie ‘no dey be’ because he didn’t get his ending, meanwhile, when it started, he was complaining bitterly about how he knows how it’s going to end so it’s waste of time. We live in a country where we curse when it’s not raining and want to change the government for that and now the dam is over-flowing and we want to change government.

Anyways, the unfolding of a story may or may not be predictable but it’s up to the director and writer to add certain detail or extras to distinguish their film from the ‘norms’.  AVATAR and THE EXPENDABLES had flat storylines and were predictable but they were good if not great movies and did well at the box office.

Example

Let’s say all stories start with a happily married couple and then they have kids and they divorce and the kids grow up in a broken home and they end up on the streets and we are tired of it. Ghanaians want new things but here’s a case where I want to do this movie because I was a victim of the cause. So I change a few things. I make my step mum, this ugly woman, I draw out clear scenarios where my real parents were clearly not meant to be together and cite occasions of my mother cheating, as I give reasons why the kids are on the streets, I paint a larger picture, something external like civil war and breaking down of some schools including the one the kids attend.

What I have done now is changed the complexion of the unfolding of the usual boring divorce stories. I’ve taken the blame of the divorce from the man to the woman. Ghanaians aren’t objective when it comes to these things (it’s always the man, end of story. HOW?). Fine the kids end on the streets, but it’s not because of the broken home. There are kids on the streets but from negligent parents. In the cited example, the kids are on the streets just as everybody predicted but probably because of the civil war. Let us not confine stories to strict patterns.

A tip here - a cause and an effect are different but sometimes seem similar. Let’s draw out as many causes on one side and see how many effects we can have and we’ll realise we need not draw an effects list

MUSIC, SOUND, LIGHTING and CAMERA

These have been poor but I tell you, I love track 4 from that scene in PERFECT PICTURE. It just lasts when you see something like that and sometimes I want to try a song to see if it will work. That is what movies are supposed to do; dare you and deter you.

The lighting in movies, I can’t really comment because I feel some people don’t have the technical equipment and to be fair, just look at football matches played by the Black stars locally and outside of Ghana and see the camera difference.

As for sound, I’ll give it a 5 out 5. Take away fake accents (is it by force?), take away poor sound quality (sometimes) and we have really great sound. It’s super clear. Unless required ( I think), there are no lisps, doors bang and you look behind you, you can hear traffic, the wind that blows a dress is exactly the same wind blowing a voice or intercepting it. I think the editing too is good because sometimes I open my ears to hear noise in the background because I know the particular setting is busy but neither earphones nor home theatre can unravel what i’m suspecting.

Quick one

Every time, someone is listening to the radio, it means there is important news. Can’t someone listen to drive-time on JOY or something and hear something that has nothing to do with the story line? I mean if the lead character is broke, does it mean when he turns on the radio, there is an on-going promotion? A movie director is “almost” like what God is to us human beings and should use this power wisely.

Instruments

Different instruments connote different moods. Invariably, pianos are for romance and some level of horror. I don’t get why sometimes we hear a piano version of a hiphop song when someone is driving to work. All I’m saying is, the same song, with beat played by piano carries a different mood when it is being played by drums.

Music: PICTURE PERFECT again. There was a repetition of this song, at the scene where Lydia Forson went to get that married guy stripped in some bush. The song just carried me into a mood and I kind of played back the scene again just to listen to the song. It was a funky reggae-ish song. I loved it. What music does sometimes is, if it’s good, distracts you and you get swayed into this dilemma trying to decipher the lyrics and relating them to the film on one side and the other, focusing on the film. This is not a bad thing unless you miss a detail in a scene but trust me it’s sometimes a break. Persons with good taste in music can select the score for a film and this will definitely spark a lot of attention to the movie especially popular songs but sometimes I also feel the movie is the stage to showcase a new song. I would recommend that at least one song be made for a movie. The song DAA K3 DAA by BECCA(I think it was in SCORNED), that was where I heard it and if it’s in line with my recommendation, then I have a point.

Camera

There is something about a moving car and camera in Ghana that just don’t go. The quality becomes poor suddenly in a moving car. These days, we’re getting a lot of aerial views and scenes like sex scenes which in my opinion are almost too much (especially kissing; does a man have to kiss his wife every evening at home? Maybe we all do it but sometimes it’s too much and usually lacks passion). We sometimes want to be the camera man. Sometimes ,we say ‘the camera man dey enjoy o’ but some scenes really aren’t worth watching. If it’s a sex scene, give it to me like I’d want to be the one in bed. If the actors can’t do it, get doubles. If you are going to defend a movie’s sex scene, I’m not saying make it nasty, but let the movie tell us how it’s going down and if that can’t be done, it won’t hurt a fly to remove the scene. Camera and lighting and evening scenes, I’d really like to not talk about just to be fair to lack of technical support and equipment in Ghana

CAST

The cast of a movie helps complete the visualization of the script. In my opinion, it is not the scriptwriter’s job to describe the cast (there are exceptions though) because that will invariably limit the ‘God-like’ powers of the director. Casting should be done by an independent body through screening and the judges or panel should include the director and maybe the scriptwriter. Without my technical eye, I always say actors make films and I would argue my point out in the appropriate forum.

I think the new movie, 6 HOURS TO CHRISTMAS has curbed the attitude of flooding our screens with stars. I saw only 2 familiar faces in the trailer which I’m yet to organise my thoughts on. Casting may increase cost of the making of a movie and sadly for us it seems to us that no screening is being done for major roles in movies. What’s up with NAFTI? And the extras in films; are they part of the cast? Sometimes I wonder if they are. Well I think they are. I think they should be part of the cast but we shouldn’t so easily detect that they are. It’s the directors work to determine which extras to be casted and mine to say good/bad job but I seriously hate to see people standing in a shop not buying anything because the main characters are in. Can’t we expand scripts so extras act a bigger role so we can’t say we think they have been paid not to talk? I only know of Michael Jackson to be the only person who enters a shop and then it’s closed till he leaves. It seems to me, that the director signals people to leave so only the actors are left in the shop.

And why must they be friends? Why must all of the cast be friends? I loved LIFE AND LIVING IT and PERFECT PICTURE but like FOREPLAY (4PLAY), I don’t like that the cast know each other so well. It’s not a TV show/series we’re watching here; with those, after season 1, it seems everyone has dated the other or something like that but for a big one time movie, must they always be friends and have their lives intertwined? It’s a small world yes but all the happenings can’t happen among friends like that. We shouldn’t use a film as an excuse to live monotonous fantasies and revert ironically and say but it’s a film so or anything can happen. The worst thing to hear about your movie is when we say, after all, it’s a movie.

AGAIN, we could do with some new faces and more screening and well advertised and soliciting for persons to audition.

ACTING

I always wonder what it would be like to be someone you’re not and have people believe it; to live a lie. That is true acting.

As much as I didn’t want to pick on actors names, I think the cast for THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE- every single member was too good and ahead of our time. They set the pace in ‘expression’ (language, words and ideas) which only a few movies and TV shows seemed to attempting. The rest, all due respect to them, really have to work on even their facial expressions for one. And this brings me to clothing which I have nowhere to fit in; but why are the cast always so neat and in new clothes? I wear old clothes all the time and I have a big closet. I don’t look so fresh at home. No!! I’m not talking about make-up. And maybe the actors’ wardrobe is provided by some designer or boutique but can he wear those on his way out? If the clothes are robes etc to be worn at home, can we see him tear the tag and stuff? This will serve as advertisement for the designer and also add some sense to why his towels etc are all so new.

Miscellaneous

A STING IN A TALE - I liked the acting, the cast and the dressing. The setting was great, especially the hospital scenes and the bar where they usually hang out and this is all about A STING IN A TALE ( I got the art/creative eye behind the ghost seeing Shirley etc but was it worth killing all the lead characters? The guy was over his wife and moving on, did he have to die?)

The dialogues in most movies don’t flow. I think I’m a poet if not a common assembler of words in an attempt to say something and trust me, I hear poetry if not mere recitals of poetic phrases between even the most casual of persons. It causes disarray because sometimes, with the rapid recital; no, slow actually, they have a slow momentum; the ‘victim’ of the statement is not given a chance to react, the camera only looks at his/her face when it is emotionless and the victim, in my opinion, sometimes does not have to say anything back but poorly written scripts draw out a needless but ‘corresponding’ reply and we have a play and not a film. If you have any problem with this, check A STING IN A TALE (great dialogues mostly) and compare with PASSION AND SOUL (terrible, speech, apart from funny scenes, should have been censored).

ENDING

I think at the ending of a movie, you either stay glued to your chair for close to a minute or get up before the cast list appears.

I have loved movie endings, the USUAL SUSPECTS, SHUTTER ISLAND, FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, LIFE AND LIVING IT, STAR WARS EPISODE VI and many many more. Sad to say I didn’t like how FOREPLAY (4PLAY) ended, I think the movie was conjured in such a way that the friends all had happy endings.

When does a movie end? When it loses its edge, it ends for me. In a movie like FOREPLAY(4PLAY), I think the fairytale, happy ending was abused, I think the fat( pardon my language if offensive) friend’s ending was the best and that of the girl with the bisexual husband but Jackie, I really think when she went home and her mum gave her that speech, it should’ve have ended( by prolonging the end, we are made to believe that love always ends well, not that we don’t know that it doesn’t always do so but it reduces the maturity when it ends well like that ... Also, if John Dumelo claims he can spend the whole day in the pool, on the day the he cheated, why didn’t he dive into the river/stream at the end of the movie to get to his wife?

TRAILER

I just saw the 6hrs TO CHRISMAS trailer again

Looks more polished than others I’ve seen. Best trailer is A STING IN A TALE though (because of the cast). So far it seems edgy and even though I didn’t get the humour from the trailer, I get that it’s meant to be funny or at least the movie is a comedy. Sense of humour as are other ‘senses’ is relative but there are standards and it is hard to see which side of the bar the humour in this trailer falls. A very informative trailer, I love the last bit at the end, it has a decisive and firm message. I think it means the risk of cheating. Guys never think of what they stand to lose and even if we do, at that point, we simply don’t appreciate it. I hope I’m wrong about the humour because that’s what I read and I didn’t see it in the trailer. Maybe funnier scenes could be used. The room they were stuck in is colourful. That toned down the seriousness and that too, is not funny.

Oh and the voice in the background, the woman, that is like listening to some Malaria drug advert. I’m with whoever chose a woman to give the ‘commentary’, it’s a change and with the right voice and tone, we might achieve a spectacle. And the commentary sound is a bit poor. It all adds up to a very boring, dull mood albeit illegally blanketing what a lot of people are or were anxious to see.

I think i’m done watching Ghanaian movies for now. I love Ghana, I really do. Our music has transcended yet all i’ve seen is Agyaa Koo Gbegbentus in terms of movie soundtracks. Maybe i lack knowledge or i’m refusing to believe or admit but if i’m right then i can open a blog for criticizing movies as when and how we like. We know we can’t do movies but with the present standard, it’s sad to say, anyone can.

By Aubrey Aidoo

23^rd October 2010

Where Can We Find The Law

The law wasn’t meant to be broken but these days it seems the law was broken to be made. Some laws appear to exist only after breaking them. A person can go through life normally without any police trouble and the moment he fails an attempt to end such a life which society itself has ruined and a life which has not troubled society in anyway, he’s guilty of attempted suicide. This is not an argument on what the law should be so no comments on why one can or can’t take one’s own life but where is it written in everyday life that these are the ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts’?

We can go through life’s everyday activities cautiously and carefully and still have a lot of fun knowing the rules that are applicable in our various societies albeit jurisdictions. After all to be forewarned is to be forearmed. We can blame ourselves more if we could do away with just this one ‘had i known’ in life.

That maxim, ignorance of the law is no excuse. Does it apply to illiterates and lunatics? If the law applies to all person and prohibits murder and suicide but permits freedom of association and persons join a religion which, for example, allows the killing of leaders at the end of their tenures, shouldn’t the law be made readily available to these persons so they know their religion doesn’t surpass the law; at least in that perspective?

The law is so far from us, we wonder who it applies to. Sometimes we think armed robbers are so far away from us or that killers have no family. We think criminals are a different species. Life makes us all criminals. It’s just the applicable law that hasn’t caught hold of us and probably never will. The law is not enforceable only by the persons in suits and policemen. The little rules we know and are conversant with, we can enforce not only through prosecuting and reporting but by educating the less informed. The law is just too far from us because it seems to not save us especially when crime is so close to us in our homes, schools and at work

Visa

Getting a visa is hard and expensive. Travelling is another story altogether. I used to wonder why everyone travelled and I didn’t.

I remember, no disrespect to the to-be-mentioned country but, my uncle from… from where I come from was travelling and we were all excited because he had really come through a ‘story’ to get his visa and the best part was how he’d made promises to us about how he would buy us this and that. You should’ve seen me with my Eastbay and Argos magazines. You dare not lend me yours if you couldn’t stand it being perforated. I had to get as much details on the stuff I wanted.

Sometimes, it’s really really good to have your hope deflated early but the way in which this one happened was something else. To end the story, my unlce was going to Denmark and a bus of his cousins, aunties, teachers, town elders, church choir, priests, neighbours, clan representatives and then another, an ovan actually of his 2 wives and 16 children and wives brothers ensued. That was his escort to the airport and then my collage of Eastbay trainers and Argos toys and watches just found it’s way back in my mum’s car. The end

Years later, I was talking to my mum about travelling and she brushed it aside so I asked her what she would do if I had a serious disease. She answered hospital almost simultaneously. I knew her attention wasn’t there so to get it, I said, so what if it was some cancer that had to be removed in London? At this point, I knew I had her attention because cancer is scary and every mother would tell you something nice like we’ll sell stuff and send you there for good treatment.

I know my mother loves me but since we’re in Ghana. This is what she said.

“Are you mad? Where from cancer? We’ll send you to Aponkyi clinic, if it doesn’t work, you can go and replace uncle Kofi in the… where I come from… besides, you might infect us all with it. Selfish brut. In any case, I have 3 sons.”

So then, I decided, ahiaa give flying L.

Tuesdays At the Mall

Every Tuesday, me and the guys meet at the mall to buy our very own substitute for pizza. After buying too much pizza on Tuesdays only, we decided to go make the right combination of butter bread and chicken wings from Shoprite and occasionally bought chips. We were 5 originally and sometimes 6 or and on rare occasions 4 guys. It’s an all guys affair. We’d crack jokes and make a lot of dirt and waste while eating. It never feels routine even though it was the same thing all the time. Maybe someone’s shoes were funny or someone with no dogs at home would gather what we thought were bones and say they’re for his dogs. Even after gathering bones, we still made as much mess as we could and didn’t care on the car park. Sometimes we’d put what we could in trash cans but it was never a conscious effort but one day, one of the guys was too bent on cleaning up even bread crumbs. I kept asking what was wrong till when another guy couldn’t keep it to himself, he broke out in laughter confessing ‘Mr. Cleaner’s’ shin was bruised by a security man’s baton earlier on and that alone was reason enough to not litter the mall.

So that’s it? I asked

That’s it, dear reader that is it.

Thanks

The other day, I was sitting with a couple of guys when we saw this girl, I kinda fancied her so I had my eyes on her and noticed she’d dropped something. I started shouting ‘general names’ “Obaayaa, Aho)f3”; I know she heard me but pretended she didn't and kept walking. I found what she dropped but didn't pick it up. I realized I was becoming fainter to her even though I was now screaming more. She doubled her steps. I trotted. I nearly gave up when she crossed a street and the pedestrian lights went red on me. I’m sure she sighed relief then but I was now warming up. I observed her next turn and even when she wasn't in sight, I felt I could sense where she was headed so I crossed her. Spooked when I appeared in front of her, I proceeded with my plan. It had now occurred to me that as much as I knew she was aware I was behind me, I don't recall her seeing me behind me let alone knowing my face so well to be shocked but either way, knowing she was aware who I was and where we first saw each other, I carried on.

Remember where I was when I first saw you?

You dropped your key there.

If it’s taken you this long to get it then let me just tell you, she had to walk 20 mins back, along with me, no conversation whatsoever and when she picked her key, she said THANKS

Suit Up

It had occurred to me that at 25, and in Ghana, I couldn’t go everywhere in shorts or even jeans but I didn’t really understand why. Don’t get me wrong, I know not every environment supports these attires (for my lack of another word, let me use attire). In my first week of school, for some strange reason, I decided to wear suits although it wasn’t compulsory to do so on my campus. I do drive a car with no AC and no seat covers to reduce heat and it seems my car just doesn’t like shade.

To beat traffic and so I can speed on the motorway, I usually speed. Cutting in with point; a policeman stopped me for over speeding and let me go because I was looking handsome. Wow. Ghana. I’ve had nice stuff but not until my days in suits, I can’t recall a stranger telling me he liked what I was wearing. I’ve had compliments from admirers who aren’t friends but to get that from a total stranger, it’s even gay to hear but at that time it didn’t sound it. I guess suits really help. Although outside class, I feel I stand out too much. And lastly, my mum stared at me for over 30 seconds without talking to me, I felt invisible, till I realised she was smiling; I made her proud. Guys, don’t miss a chance to wear a suit, it really comes with some benefits.

Smile

Have you ever spent time to think about the Holy Spirit? For the purposes of this, I’ll refer to the Holy Spirit as a person, a him. Sorry ladies. I never did till I heard a few friends talking about him. It was wonderful because usually, we talk about God and see in movies some yellow light and a hoarse deep voice and Jesus is this fine young man with long hair and beard. We have images of them in our minds. I could listen to an audiobook and know it’s God as we’ve been made to believe. I’m not saying I can’t picture or imagine God but trust me, there are this hints and tips that have become trademarks that we use to identify God and Jesus ( especially with his pictures). Maybe the reason he’s called the Holy Ghost sometimes or spirit is because he has no form. I picture the holy spirit as clothed in blue-ish, white-ish cloak and no face but light that even forms that fabric of this cloak and very tall. About 10 feet and floats or is usually suspended. Maybe somewhere in the Bible, he talks but I think he’s mute. I think he talks through us. This image I've painted might be my personal idea and probably not universal but there is a scenario I can paint that we should all trust and believe.

In class the other day, my friends, older friends, were arguing about Christianity, Judaism and Islam. It reasserted my faith in Christ and I felt a smile that I hope to share with you.

When Christ was coming, the Jews had this expectation that he would come change things like Aladin’s genie. It’s typical of what we look for in spouses etc sometimes. Nobody can solve your problems anymore than you can. Also, the devil didn’t know what God’s plans for Christ was. He probably thought, Christ would come as he knew him in Heaven and didn’t expect the Christ to be a normal person and the son of a carpenter. The Devil and the Jews ( not that they are in allegiance) both expected God to show off with his Son, that we’d see some magic child performing tricks. The coming of Christ was to overcome death, to show that although we’re born in sin, the wages of which is death, we can overcome death if we really choose to let Christ carry the cross which is indeed our burden (which invariably means he will cater for our worries) and all we have to do is worship. It’s a matter of choice. God has planned every step of our lives for us, he has his will but that isn’t inevitable. We don’t serve a God who will chase us with a whip and say worship me. God has a will for us all and if we choose to go by it, His infinite promises will definitely come our way.

The Devil doesn’t know what God has in store for us. Sometimes, walls do have ears and the whisper of an idea on intention, invites the devil. All prayers must be meaningful and sealed with an Amen lest the devil has a chance of succeeding. Don’t blame yourself for all your wrongs; sin is like glue or a pit. It’s not hard to quit sinning, it’s impossible and that’s why Christ is called a Saviour because it takes just that and that only, to be saved to overcome sin. As to sin and its temptation and God’s will, study the Lord’s Prayer well and understand what you recite. Then with being born again, anytime you sin or fall short by some distance, concentrate on doing the things you’re supposed to do more as against the wrongs and in time, the good things/deeds will become a habit. No matter how far away you drift, sin can be deep and dark and shameful but God always has a way, prodigal son, or the sheep that was lost and the shepherd left the other 99. We might be too bent on wanting to see the floor open or a big miracle before we invite Christ into our heart but then where will the choice lie. I’m a creative writer and trust me; the Bible is no creative work. It’s simply truth, the only truth, if you asked me.

Christ’s second coming is real. When? We don’t know. Nobody knows. Yes the signs are there but how many will be saved when he comes? God and Christ left us with the Holy Spirit because the new way is to have him by our side as a guide. God used to come down to talk to Abraham and the people of the old but now we can talk to the Holy Spirit at anytime. He’s no more than a good conscience, a presence, a feeling, he really is everywhere. When we read in the Bible that where two or three are gathered, God is with them, it is true. I know I felt it when all these facts which I already knew and understood finally manifested into a smile on my face. Even know that I’ve written them and you’re reading, we’re gather in spirit and by that the Holy Spirit is amongst us. Smile.

Occupational Hazard?

I’m not sure if this comes under occupational hazards but aside physical injury, I’m very much sure mental trauma and torture and other psychological problems that really don’t and can’t arise out of normal sweet but boring life should be. Sometime your boss puts you through some stress that you would never go through “had it not been for work” you’d say. That is occupational hazard. The list is long, teachers/lecturers, colleagues at work and mates in school, the all cause hazards and since they are in the line of duty, they are occupational hazards in my book. Yes in my book. At this point, I’m tempted to write lol but I’m not trying to let you know I laugh at my own jokes- we all do though… sometimes

So I was subjected to trauma when one night…..

Okay, so we went to the little girl’s house to inform her parents about the incident. Her father wouldn’t let us in initially because policemen searching for a 14 yr old girl was quite odd and unheard-of. Personally, I understood him. I wouldn’t let these men with batons come over this late and there really is not excuse, not even remotely that warrants such, it seems he would term, intrusion. Upon persuasion, he reluctantly, went to check if his 14 year old daughter was in bed at 12 midnight and when he came back a different man, more serious though but now willing to corporate. He wanted to find where she was and yes papa police and his crew knew.

The incident

She was dating someone 10yrs older than her, approximately and on what seemed like their resumed soirée and doing the unthinkable. So she’s ready at 14? Not that it’s news but when you do hear stuff and it’s only until you’ve really come to have some more concrete interaction with them that you feel the force and reality with which they move and thus are deemed good or bad or in this case modern. Modern because…. You should have witnessed it yourself. It’s only routine that in our not too modern state, policemen always interrupt PDA (for those who don’t know, Public Display of Affection) so we had to break the show. Upon interrogation, we realized we had broken into a defilement case. I’m not unscrupulous but I think we should have just asked for our usual fine and not threatened anything or told them their wrongs unless we needed to scare them to ‘extort’ some cash. The girl, at law would probably go scot free since she was the victim for lack of invalid consent for unattained adulthood save for the shame and ridicule society would lash her with ( which I think is enough to rehabilitate a person sometimes). The guy, I don’t have a constitution with me here but would do some years behind bars. When he heard us, he asked to lock up his ‘personal effects’ in the car come with us. Locking up took ages and I decided to follow up especially since the car began to move slowly forward and away from us.

This is not funny. I found a corpse, like a rat. With his teeth gleaming and legs and arms folded like one. Life is short but he took his pretty fast. Who is to blame? Maybe he had other problems but I feel we pushed him. He took his own life with rat poison. Was that the night he wanted to leave this earth? If I stayed home in pyjamas and with family, I probably wouldn’t have seen this. I’ve seen bloody fights and different kinds of deaths occur before my eyes but I think I was never moved like this because, it was totally inexplicable. The cause, I really don’t know. Was she pregnant? Did he plan to pull a Romeo and Juliet? Whatever it was, it’s really an occupational hazard for me and my deepest condolences to his family and the girl for a tragic loss. Damn

My Ignorance

I’ve been wondering why I forget my change sometimes, or forget to close my flap usually when i go n pee. I should be more careful because it’s harder to prove I wasn’t doing anything naughty with an open flap from peeing for some reason. Because then, I start to smile and it worsens my plight because I’m not showing remorse. I feel so confident I didn’t do anything bad, I forget how the person inquiring feels. Worse, I’m broke, thinking of how to make some money and I’m forgetting my change. Even when my pockets are fat, I don’t tip, not even to show off (what’s the point, tip if you want to but don’t show off with tipping unless you’re dating the waiter’s sister or ex. Lol). So why? Funny how when you forget your change and you smile when people say you’re so rich you were giving out money because you know it’s a big joke – on the other hand, when you tip, you don’t even smile because you’re wondering what at all this waiter can do with the money and some silly friend around will be thinking, “show off”. Crazy world. What comes to mind when you forget car keys somewhere? If you haven’t locked your keys inside, you should stop driving.

Me and my crazy world

You know sometimes, you go through some experiences in life and you really don’t want to stop laughing or you wonder when it will all be over and it all seems to rise, climax and fall or fade and you wonder what you were thinking then? My home is a couple of houses and families and friends and most of these experiences however solo the act may seem could be traced to some ‘family’ member or I did with them. I like memories, I love them. It’s bad. The good times, aren’t really good when you think about them especially when you see them as things that really came to an end after all.

The bad times, well they are bad so I can’t say I love them, nobody does or should but here’s what we can say good about the bad times; as much as you can’t laugh when times are hard or whatever problem has taken centre stage, any moment from when the sad time is over, you can really have a good laugh at it and trust me it won’t hurt( this is a personal issue and I haven’t experienced some things, I wasn’t around during the holocaust, with all due respect and condolences of course). Think of when you were short and everyone else was taller. Or when your parents scold us. Or when you lost your first phone which wasn’t even coloured screen. Or the trauma endured only to realise it was a prank. I guess then you say you have a crazy world

Let's Get Money

I think I’ve said I’ll be rich or I’ll retire at 30 so much it’s become realistic; not because it’s going to happen but because the familiarity of the statement has made me and the people around me who hear it, conversant with it and now it’s moving slowly from a notion to an idea and hopefully after my bank robbery, it will be a fact. Why do I want to retire early or be rich? Why not? I see all these flashy cars and I don’t see why I shouldn’t have one now? Why wait till you’re 40 to drive a new car and the 50 something to drive your dream car?

I’m a typical bad boy. The worst and I want to give a girl a phone, not just anyone but an ‘underwear-dropping’ one. I want to go to some catering/culinary school when I’m 29 so I can be a house-husband - cooking and playing video games. Picking up the kids from school and always making sure we have the best cuisine. This is not a dream. Certainly not a big one if it is, it’s the plan. The dream is to marry someone who loves me as much as I love her.

Guys! love isn’t something we should search for, let’s get money, let’s love money because the standard is high. Girls in 4x4, doesn’t that intimidate? National Service and the jobs that we do after don’t pay well and it’s a system that we might get trapped in easily. Especially when you’re dreaming of being promoted. It never comes like that. Even if it does, you’re not the lucky one. Sit down and reflect on how simple life would be if you did things you like and got paid for them or if you had all bills paid without working. No office, no boss and no traffic on the way to so-called work. Let’s get money and blow if fast.

Justice

I was sitting in a Criminal Procedure class the other days and it got very interesting as we started talking about rape and murder. Till that point I was only writing down my personal salient points and largely facebooking and txt-chatting.

Man crosses the street without looking to his left or right and is hit by a car but doesn’t die and falls in the ‘path’ of another which runs over his head. Now who killed him? Witness starts with in my opinion and he’s blasted. But seriously, how do we find justice here?

Murder in Ghana, woman warns friend’s mother to tell her daughter (woman’s friend) to stay away from her husband. Since the affair is still ongoing, the woman confronts the old lady again and this becomes heated and she pushes the old lady hitting her head against a wall and the old lady dies. The trial goes on for 5 yrs during which the ‘murderer’ delivers a child but ends up in jail anyways. In my opinion, the husband is the murderer but that is just not justice.

Yes I had intercourse with her. It wasn’t the first time, she’s my girlfriend. How can that be rape when she was half-naked when I entered the room?

How did you meet your lover

If you asked me, I’d say which one? Well there’s her, I got her number from a friend and decided to call her and wake her in her sleep. Okay I didn’t have credits so I waited for 100% discount, happy?

Happy birthday to you...

Oh it’s not your birthday?

Then she hang up and I called back

Seemed like I’d waken her up again so I felt like starting afresh

Happy birthday to you...

Yes I know. I remember but I want to sing it for you

Well if you insist this doesn’t make sense then I’ll sing you any song

She begged that I did that during the day but I was a tough nut to crack so I settled with I knew I loved you before I met you by backstreet boys and by morning, we were eager to meet in person.

How did I meet her?

Sometimes, it’s unfair when you’re driving a slow ugly car and girls pass by you and don’t even look into your car. It’s only natural to look into the car you’re bypassing, right? These girls don’t turn to see who is that suffering to move that ‘thing’ on the road. Yes I’m speaking from experience and with this one, on the 37 road, when I managed to cross her, I just stopped my car and got out of it. From behind her 4x4(for the other drivers), I’m sure it was hard to see what was in front of her. I just hopped in her passenger seat and straight to the point.

What’s your number?

Yes I’m serious

The cars started honking

No. Not until you give me your number and I’ll flash to check so don’t waste time. One call led to another and.... well that’s how I met her.

Do Something About It

En route home with my neighbour one evening, from probably nowhere (yeah we do that in Tema sometimes), we were talking about robbing a bank and before I (particularly) turned 30. I want to get married at 29 and I so don’t want to be in my 50’s and be thinking things I should’ve done or wish I did. We certainly won’t do it for the money. When poor people do that, they end up killing etc. I just want to rob a bank (in a mask of course) and get chased around Tema by the police and certainly not get caught and buy some wedding something(ring, suit, cake) with the money. I know who my driver will be. I know the team I’ll rob with and the particular bank but my fear is the traffic. Don’t mess with the traffic in Tema. So we rob the bank and land in traffic and the police also get held up in the traffic? What if they get out of their cars and begin chasing us on foot- do we leave our car and carry our booty? Even little girls could catch us in this venture. For the sake of bank robberies to come, somebody should really do something about the traffic in Tema.

Break Up

What’s the big deal who left who? Every time I hear or say break up, people want to know who said let’s break up? Does it really matter? Some years ago, as teenagers, it was cool. We used the excuse, I never get dumped or I saw it coming so I did it fast. Truth is, people still abide by these rules. FYI ( For Your Information) it’s no big deal who breaks up. A break up is probably a ripple effect or a reaction.

He cheated = I broke up with him

There are too many ways to look at this statement. Why did he cheat? He probably broke up with you in his mind before cheating so he left. Or he cheated and got caught easily because he subconsciously had given up on the ‘us’ or the ‘you’.

I broke up with him not = He cheated

The war turns when you put it this way. This is actually a stage of recovery. We’re trying to discover why he cheated. You tell your friends you broke up with him and they ask why and you say he cheated and they all start saying how they didn’t like him etc. So if he had so many wrongs, is love truly blind or maybe you were ‘imperfect’ yourself so you never really manned up to say, I don’t like this about you. He didn’t cheat only because he’s a player, he did it because you probably lacked something he wanted or had something he didn’t want like too many wrong people around you. As to the lacking of something, don’t feel bad, feel normal. Guys of today want to engage in pre-marital sex and still marry a virgin so that puts you in a fix that you really have no options, so what do you reasonably lack? Of course, there will always be some things you lack or lacked at a point in time but relationships and partners are supplementary in nature – he should be there where you fall short. Most people want their spouses to be perfect.

If a guy or girl requires such absolution from you, it’s because he or she lacks it and craves it. Tell him to look elsewhere. Be the childish immature one to break up with someone over something as silly as him or her wanting perfect and be content that you tried to be yourself and to change the things that you could change and needed to change

Some girly advice

Well he said he wasn’t ready to move in with me. Let’s come to Ghanaian soil. I’ve heard stuff like he broke up with me because he said he needed space but I think he likes his ex. This is the reality of things. He likes his ex. The reason people give with break ups is usually some excuse for that which they are ashamed to admit or because they never loved you and the pity they’ve always had has now turned to guilt so they can’t look into your eyes and say I was only using you to get over my ex or wait for her to love me again or something like that. Being a guy, this, I know for a fact and to all female readers, sorry.

Bomb Baby

So what would you do if your ex brought a baby and clearly it wasn’t you but all evidence, tests etc indicate it was you but you know you haven’t been with her in almost a year but she’s still too fine and so rich? First thought, I’d poison her after 2 years. At least once in a year or shorter a period, we feel like killing someone.

Everybody has murdered someone before, mentally that is. My friend imagined terminating an unwanted pregnancy with a fufu pestle. I’ve one time or the other thought of destroying stuff, hitting people with my phone, knocking people down with my car but never really thought about mass murder. Well not until my friend was telling me how he felt pregnancy (unwanted and out of wedlock) threats or news were deadlier than bomb threats. So now I want to bomb someplace in Ghana. Beaches and coastal areas are out and so are farms.

Maybe the airport. Certainly not parliament house because that could spark a civil war and would seem as done by the opposition party. But the Jubilee House, school administration block, if I couldn’t afford anything at all at the mall then it would be on my list. Okay, I’ll add the mall only if I realise I really can’t meet a decent girl that I would like who would look at me twice. But really, does a pregnancy threat from a course-mate or age mate lover/friend, scare that much? Let’s try bombing somewhere in Ghana, no banks though, and see if when you’re buying something at the mall and you hear there’s a bomb at Gate 1 you will exit through it.

Aubrey Aidoo’s first open letter to Oprah

I stopped watching TV. I stopped listening to my radio and gave it out. I lost contact with the world. I couldn’t find myself in the world. I would probably be copying someone or something. I wanted my originality to surge from within; the purest of sources. I didn’t want to owe the man that I’ve become even to my mentors. If you can’t relate to this or understand this, then this is where you get down from this train.

I used to sing in the choir and never fully enrolled. I like to think of life as a journey around a mountain on a staircase and my mother will always be my the staff I walk with because sometimes it’s good to have that third leg to support you; my father is the banister that will never see me fall off the cliff and brothers and close friends whom I will forever love are the candle that used to brighten the way.

ABRAHAM

Life is like climbing a staircase around a mountain

We all have our mountains to climb around

And our separate staircases to step on

Fathers are our banisters as we climb and mothers, the light

There’s no heaven on earth, save in the comfort of these two

When you’re down, you go round in big circles but it doesn’t seem you’re getting there

The thick base is experience; always remember that

Sometimes, the hen hops on one leg to see what walking, albeit hopping on one leg is like

So when the time comes and it escapes with only a leg, it will be prepared

To our fathers and persons – the Abrahams who ensure we never had to hop

Thank you

Happy Fathers’ Day

Singing in the choir coincided with my writing. As much as I love singing, each time we read a hymn, as a young writer, I was confused whenever I considered borrowing rhymes and lines. I draw inspiration easily from anything and each day at choir practice, my mind would wonder to a choir session turning into a hit movie like fighting temptations or some high school musical group competition and I would just miss the notes of the words that were being sung. Choir practice made me realise there was more to writing than just words and rhyme. When it comes to style, there’s rhythm and relevance and there are unrigged paths along which literature moves. I decided to try poetry as a way to portray these new things that I had learned.

Everywhere I’ve gone to, I realise is a square hole and I’m too round to fit in. I remember being moved from alto (which I was assigned because of the few number of the segment when I joined) to tenor and when I messed a note in a song too many times, I was moved to bass.

I felt more at home at bass because everyone there, I could really sing and their number was good so now I could just open my mouth and not that I was pretending to sing but just release whatever came out of my mouth and not feel wrong because as much as I shouted the wrong notes, not even I could hear myself- everybody could use a place like that or a moment where you could do all the wrong things and commit a lot of foolery and not be or feel judged. I totally lost the cause and slowly, I put my attendance to a halt. I miss it and I miss that feeling. I don’t even get that when I go on Sundays. Maybe it’s because it’s a ‘full house’ then or because I don’t go often I feel eyes on me and even create imaginary murmurs.

MY IMAGINATION

It’s my zone

A place of dreams

Like a traveller’s home

It’s a way of life

The only thing I can’t share totally with my wife

My imagination puts a smile on my face when all is gloomy

It takes me to another land when my legs are weary

I can’t share and you can’t have

It’s not like a visa

It’s mine

It’s like a passport because only I can have it

Copyright (c) Aubrey Aidoo 2009

I love to hear the choir sing and I love to be a part of the group that sings praises and sometimes when I’m singing a song, I forget it’s praise and I just feel the words; like the person who wrote it some 200 years ago wrote them for me. Then I realise that someone, outside of this church on this Monday evening, has no access to this hymn and the language and style would was inconsumable by him, what if my gift was to reach out to him? I’m a deep thinker and I get into very pensive moods every now and then and in my thoughts, I believe my gift can touch people that I might never come close to touching in person. If I can relate to a 200 yr old hymn, then someone should be able to relate to my poems of only 6 yrs old.

In my 25 yrs of life, I’ve experienced some ounces of success, failure, love, heartbreak, friendship, betrayal, adoration, family life, discontent, self-doubt, anger, forgiveness and the rest of a never ending list.

Discovering my gift was easy and hard because it was always there but I failed to see it. I think my parents saw it and nurtured me to develop it but not even they knew what exactly it was. I’m not sure I can say it’s poetry or writing generally, it’s expressing myself. After I found what I could do, I linked it to what I saw in my mother and her mother (my nanny). My nanny always has a way with words of wisdom and never used a cliché in the general sense that we know them to be abused. For example, she told my mother on days when my mother was upsetting her that of the all the houses, all the fine houses, on your way, why did you come to this ‘hut’ again? There’s a difference between a fine house and a home and is where you belong. This has proved to be a timeless saying and when you come to terms with the meaning of this, you will probably remember Maame Hannah for that.

My mother always said no situation is permanent and in times of boredom(these days) and suppression and uncertainties, I just remember that and I think of what next, the situation that will follow and even embrace it with no anxiety for that too won’t last forever.

With that, I moulded my sunshine in a bucket theory where I carry an imaginary bucket all the time full of sunshine and I just swing it around me through the rain, so to speak figuratively. The point is, locking moments and the sweetest memories and ideas in your mind and remembering them whenever things are rough. This bucket can never short sunshine and lately, I feel it might hit supernova and melt the bucket because of some sweet change of times and events that I’ve been through, there’s plenty smile about through the rain.

PLACES IN TIMES

Some experiences are like places

So are memories - bitter and sweet ones

Things we cannot forget, we think are places lost in time

We don't call them 'When's' and 'Then's' but rather 'Where's' and 'There's'

For golden moments, we say "at the........" and not "on that"

Instead of "during", we say "in"

So when I say "I’m going to marriage",

Don’t ask me "when", ask me "where"

For I will go in a carriage

The carriage of a place in time

Copyright (c) Aubrey Aidoo 2004

I was in a fatal accident when I was 4 and sat by the only person who died in the car my mum was driving and was pushed by a friend when I was 6 onto a busy road and got run over by a car which was on its way to my house so I had a phobia for driving but I channelled that fear into learning to drive because I realised, even fear required so much energy and I couldn’t waste any more on that and if I’m going to die in an accident, I’d rather be the driver.

My life has been eventful from childhood and still is and the sayings with the surreal dreams and visions that I ‘inherited’ from my mother, it’s no wonder I just had to be a talker because I’m concentrated with a lot of ‘words’.

It’s probably fate that these things happened to me so I could liberate the broken hearted, despaired and suppressed with a poem or two.

I AM A MAP

I am a map

My life is a journey

Take a picture of me right now and you’ll find a smile

A smile on my face is like an oasis on the desert

You should know this is a rare moment for me then

A good laugh always escapes me when I near it like a mirage

Ask me a story if you need to go somewhere

Don’t ask me for directions

Life is like walking in the desert

There’s no map of certainty

There are no coordinates

No beginning, no end

Just walk in circles till you know you way around

I am only a map

My life is a journey

Even if smiles and frowns were places

And I told you how it happened

You wouldn’t know where to find your happiness

A map can only lead you to one destination

This map can only lead you to my destination

My smile, my worry; my cry

Not your smile, your worry. Just try

I am a map

My life is a journey

And I didn’t come prepared

My image in the mirrors just shows it

A world of racism

I’m judged by my looks at the office

There’s a limit to who I can call soul mate – physical standards make me an obstacle

The people that buy expensive perfumes and leather

Pay huge sums for destruction of forest auguring terrible weather

The ones that can afford the surgeries

Change black to white and albino to black

The ones that are able

Have made us the Cains

I am only a map

My life is a journey

Even if I came prepared

As a rich handsome young man

I still couldn’t change this cold world

The warmth of a mother’s love couldn’t

How much more a map?

I am a map

My life is a journey

I was cut out of hard cardboard paper

My edges are rough and jagged

Because I broke away from the Pangea

So I stand alone

And still I achieve

There are wonderful sites in my eye and my heart

If my mouth remains a harbour for truth

And my ears a hangar for you lies

For truth sails slowly and lies are always in flight

My hands are paths in bushes and the heath

Then the roads you will see are my feet

And the wonderful sites in my eyes and heart are the rivers that are my veins the waterfalls that are my tears

And me as you see me

I am a map

My life is a journey

Even if you found your way around me

You still wouldn’t reach my treasure

My talent

When this started, it felt like I was living in the house that symbolised the Outkast’s relationship with Ms Jackson’s daughter where the house was leaking and there were cups and pots to collect the rain water. It was nothing bright; it was humid and cold with all the darkness that come when you go a bit off track to fetch something your heart desires as if the colour of the people didn’t absorb enough light already.

We’re all Stevie Wonders sometimes, blinded by the environment but able to see into the future and our dreams. We each have a star up there that we don’t look up to; that probably explains why the sun just scorches us here in Africa during the day saying if you can’t see that small light up there in the dark, and have hope and belief, when will you realise what you can do with it like we are with www.iwritegh.org